Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
