I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
