he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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