Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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