Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
