I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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