i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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