Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
