i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sobbing to NWA
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
