On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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