i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
