if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
