I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
