I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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