I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
