...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
