I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
