It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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