D3 body, D1 cock
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My ass is underappreciated
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