Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
