I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Actions speak louder than pants.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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