I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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