my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
