Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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