The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
two words: eviction party
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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