Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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