doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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