So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
