forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
