Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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