So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
