So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
