i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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