We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't deserve a penis
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Omg I joined a choir last night...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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