everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
