I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize