I think I just saw someone hide a body.
too bad you live with your parents still
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
