Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize