R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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