It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
