Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
