I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
