Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
