I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
