we're blogging at a bar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
