sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
