so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
