Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
