dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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