u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
