I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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