I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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