His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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