Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
