Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
