i don't like sucking hair
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize