I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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