im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
