Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
