How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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