I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
