and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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