I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
