Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize