This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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