how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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