Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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